AUS is a debilitating condition which affects millions of Americans each day. AUS can cause disruption in the daily lives of sufferers, often results in lowered work productivity, and frequently reduces enjoyment of everyday activities.
AUS although short-lived, can recur frequently in many bouts throughout a person’s life. The symptoms should not be ignored or dismissed as insignificant as they can increase in severity and frequency if left untreated.
AUS sufferers require immediate and frequent treatment. Once diagnosed with AUS, you can expect to require daily treatments for the rest of your natural life.
It is estimated that up to 95% of all people have had a bout with AUS at some point in their lives.
Diagnosis is characterized by the presence of three or more of the following symptoms:
1. Pain in the abdominal area which grows slowly but steadily
2. Inability to focus on tasks or carry out complex calculations
3. A "bloated" feeling in the groin
4. Hopping from one foot to the other, repeatedly
5. Sudden and uncontrollable urge to seek out a restroom, secluded corner or tree
If you have ever experienced any three of these symptoms you may already suffer from AUS. It is advised that you see your health care practitioner immediately for diagnosis.
If you are diagnosed with AUS, don't despair, for there are very effective and affordable treatment options with acceptable side-effects.
The following government approved treatment options are recommended for AUS sufferers.
For less severe cases of AUS:
Advanced acupressure therapy
Description:
Sudden and forceful pressure is applied to the affected area of the groin repeatedly and at random intervals.
Side-effects:
Unexpected and violent yellow coloured fluid discharge from the urinary tract
Bruising and haemorrhaging of the treated area
For more serious cases of AUS or for treatment-resistant AUS, the following treatment is advised. It is recommended to try a treatment option for a minimum of six months to give it time to achieve maximal effectiveness.
Electro-chemical reactive treatment
Description:
A pharmaceutical agent (Despinify™) is administered which has been demonstrated in studies to prevent contraction of muscles in the lower extremities. The mechanism of action is unknown, however it is theorized that this occurs by disrupting the ability of the neurons in the lower vertebrae of the spine to propagate electrical signals or transmit or receive chemical neurotransmitters. This effect is irreversible. For more severe episodes of AUS, the affected patient is brought into hospital and retrofitted with an apparatus which is designed to administer electrical signals of high voltage directly to the cranium. This usually has the immediate effect of relieving all symptoms of AUS spontaneously, but re-treatment is often required and is advised as needed.
Side-effects:
Unexpected and violent yellow coloured fluid discharge from the urinary tract
Memory impairment has been noted in some patients following treatment
Cognitive functioning may be impaired somewhat in certain patients
Chronic and irreversible paraplegia was demonstrated in 96% of patients following a six month course of Despinify™
Now… do you really want to go through all of that? Or would you rather someone just slap you upside the head and say “STOP HOLDING YOUR PEE AND GO TO THE BATHROOM – STUPID!!!”
Think about it.
If you understood any of the previous, the following book may be of interest to you:
You May Be “Insane” and Don’t Even Know It!